Strength In Numbers

Why is it so hard for me to muster up the strength to go out on the weekends. It couldn't be because I spend my days playing, laughing and rolling around with my one year old right? That could be a big part of it. It could also be because my son is going through the separation anxiety phase in a "hardcore" kind of way. We can't even be separated if I have to go to the bathroom. We have to be in the same room at all times. If we are not, it is not long before I hear the pitter patter of little footsteps followed by a barely detectable to suddenly penetrating cry that seems to say " Where do you think you're going mom? Get back here now! I need you to hold me! ". I take a deep breath, run my fingers through my now knotty hair which I did actually brush and put back into a neat ponytail this morning (though it never seems to stay that way), open my arms and swiftly scoop up my little guy. Lately he reminds me of the captain of a ship. Every time I pick him up, he uses his pointer finger to just point to things. He points to anything. He's like a little compass. There are definitely some things that he points to because he wants them, like a banana per say. Most of the time though, he'll just  point in different directions as you walk him into a different room. It's like he's discovered his pointer finger and he wants everyone to know. It is very cute but it becomes tiring when he just begged me to pick him up and now he wants to get down, but wait......no.....no......he wants to be picked up again......annnnnnnnnd........now he wants to go down. I guess it's true, what goes up must come down, must go up must come down and "ooooooouch! My arms are killing me!". I should have the most toned arms out there right now with all of this up, down business. This leads me to the real story. I think that when you're married, especially after having a baby, it is so easy to fall into that rut of "oh, we're too tired to go out or we're too tired to do anything.". This can be dooming to the best of relationships. It's very easy to lose that affection and when I say affection I mean the most simplest forms, like holding hands or cuddling. In order to keep that flame burning, you need to get out there and be together, cultivate your relationship, without the baby! I know it's hard. I hate leaving him in the daycare at the gym sometimes even though I'm right upstairs working out. The truth is though, what good are the two of you to him if you're not really good with each other.When you spend time together, you reignite who you were before the baby. It's really easy to forget that sometimes. I feel like a lot of people give up on their marriages because they don't understand that it is hard, it isn't always a walk in the park. It's something that has to be worked on and I believe you become even stronger when you hit those rock bottom points and rise above. Enough of my philosophy though. Hubby and I decided that we need to get out more often and spend more time together so we got on the phone and began asking other couples if they wanted to join in. So often, we back out on our plans because it's just the two of us and like I said before, we are tired, so I feel like getting a few other couples to come out with you provides a little motivation to wake up, get dressed, get out and have a good time! We ended up going out with my husband's friend and his wife to a great byob that we love where we had reservations might I add. But for some reason because we showed up with 4 instead of six our reservation became null and void and there we were waiting. Watching people that had arrived 15 minutes after us get seated. This, I definitely did not understand. That makes no sense to me. Ok so you set the table up for 6 and 4 show up. Wouldn't it make more sense to remove two plates instead of seating a whole bunch of other people before the customer with the reservation? It makes sense to me! We were seated about a half hour later  at the hottest table in the house and when I say hot I don't mean the most fantastic table. I was literally sweating. It was official....I was being cooked. Now my eyes are closing. "STOP! it's your big night out!", I'm thinking to myself. "I'm supposed to be partying right now!". The aging body is a mind boggling thing. I'm not old but I just can't believe the difference in my motivation to go out from my 20's to my 30's. It's almost pathetic! It's not just me either. My husband's friend was telling tales of going to bed at 9:00 at night he's so tired. "uh huh, I feel that.", I think to myself. Why does going out have to be like climbing a mountain in you 30's? Sure it's exhilarating to know you're climbing, (parallel that to getting ready for your big night out.) . Then you get to the top, what a rush, (parallel that to getting to the restaurant and cracking open the bottle of wine). Then the final stage, pure exhaustion (parallel that to MANY glasses of wine, an extremely hot room, think hot yoga, and my eyes struggling to remain open). I can't understand it. Only two years earlier, I had the strength to go to a bar afterwards or maybe have some people over for a nightcap. All I can think about though is going to sleep! Then the ipod goes on in the car. I suddenly wake up and now... to everyone's surprise (maybe even dismay),I have become a professional singer. Belting out tunes like  people have paid to come and see me. I think at this point my husband knows that I am in my happy place. Songs from my high school days fill the car and I sing along and reminisce. It's been a good night. As I continue to belt out these songs I'm doing the math in my head. "OMG! How is it that I've been out of high school this long.". Ugggh, time flies way too quickly and these songs remind me of a time when I had so much energy I had to tell myself in my head to calm it down a notch. Everyone is feeling pretty tired at this point. I can't help but hope that this is a minor glitch in my life where energy is so low because my parents and their friends party until the cows com home when they're together. There has to be hope right? I always have high hopes that my nights will turn out as wild and fun as they used to be. I'm always hoping that other people will help provide that extra strength to stay out because there's strength in numbers right?