A New Kind of Alarm Clock

When I talk to most young mothers, one of the conversations that will never be put to sleep is on the very topic itself......that's right....sleep....or lack there of it. I've been one of the lucky ones to have given birth to a child that sleeps through the night. I remember when I was a child waking up when I was sick and my mother gently rocking me back to sleep. I remember the comfort of her arms. My son doesn't even wake up when he's sick. He just sleeps it off. So yes, I really have been lucky. While my girlfriends spun tales of their little ones' late night tantrums and refusal to return to sleep or even go to sleep, or 5 AM wake ups, while my little angel was sleeping until 8:45 sometimes, me and my husband snored away. My pediatrician even commented on my apparent lack of dark circles and puffy eye syndrome by coyly stating "You don't look that tired to be a new mom.". "Why thank you! I'm not tired doc. Me and my husband get LOTS of sleep!". What you don't realize though is that eventually you do become tired. Your sweet darling grows and his or her little personality develops and that my friends could very well be when the tiredness sets in. For example, for the past few days my son has been waking up at 6:30 AM. This is a big change from his typical 8AM or 8:45 AM wake up. I find myself bewildered when I hear his cry or newly developed fake, tearless tantrum call. I'm exhausted. Limp. Lifeless. I lay there thinking "Is this real, maybe if I lay down for a little while longer he'll fall asleep again like he used to......ooooooh why did I stay up until 1 AM folding laundry and cleaning. Trying so hard to get ahead of myself only to be destined to be behind now that he woke up before me!". The tearless tantrum turns into one of his new all out protests (my son and his precious Bear being the sole protesters, picketing around his crib to be fetched). I drag myself out of bed and flip on my electric toothbrush and open his door, flip the light switch and reassure him that I'll be there in a jiff. He doesn't like this. The dissatisfaction becomes increasingly clear and I begin stressing. I'm really trying to hold it together here. "OK Reese, he's just a baby, you're a good mom......you have the right to brush your teeth and wash your face before you pick him up.". Let's face it, if I don't do it now, I'll be destined to roam the house in my pajamas all day or feel bad for sneaking away and throwing my gym clothes on because he might cry and my heart shatters to pieces when this happens. I resolve to take a deep breath and try my best to let the stress go. The morning continues in a rocky type fashion ..."And on this side of the ring is Nicholas weighing in at 23 lbs battling his opponent Mommy, weighing in a 114lbs because she doesn't have time to eat and is so busy cleaning up EVERYTHING! Let the battle begin!". Let's see, so far we've had a fight to get out of the crib (But I thought he wanted to get up?) A fight to change his diaper (But you're dirty! Aren't you uncomfortable peanut?) A fight during breakfast because the food's not coming fast enough and god forbid I'm not standing in front of him at all times, Company in the bathroom (I haven't used the bathroom alone in I don't know how long). Let's not forget laundry throwing (newly folded laundry) and business card throwing as well. Yes, my personal business cards looked more like a ticker tape parade celebration for the baby that conquered his mother in every way today. I finally got out of the house though. The outside world can be exhilarating when you've been cooped up being sick yourself with a sick baby in the house. It can be like living in a log cabin in the woods, not knowing what is going on in the outside world. As I drove down the street today I thought to myself " wow, when is the last time you actually drove down this boulevard? Could it have been Christmas time?". I hit the jackpot with an exercise equipment sale that I greatly appreciated because i need to create variety for my clients. I however, did not hit the jackpot with escaping the store as the mom with the baby flipping out. Oh well, you win some you lose some and today I think I'm losing the battle with my sweet boy but hey, tomorrow is another day to turn it all around as I walk past a mirror in the store and observe the fact that I should have remembered to look in the mirror before I left, hence my hair wouldn't have been in the messiest ponytail in the world! I think to myself, "Take a deep breath Reese, RELAX, he's only a baby once, you're only young once, treasure these moments even the hard ones, these times are precious, he'll be better off in the end. I know my sweet baby will be. So I carry my baby into the house and set his angelic little face and sleepy body into the crib and ponder new career ideas once again. Ones that allow the flexibility for me to continue this tough and rewarding job of being a mommy but also one where I can restore a sense of myself without feeling guilty. I'll be working on that ; ) . After all, it's never too late to become what you might have been~ Right?