Jeepers Creepers

With each waking morning comes a brand new day. There are some things you can be sure of. You can be sure that you're going to repeat the daily grind of which you are accustomed to. For some it's getting dressed and catching a bus or train, for others it's getting in a car and driving to work and for others it begins with getting kids ready for their (or your day) and out the door. Though you can depend on the fact that your routine will repeat, you never know just how it will play out, who you'll meet or what you'll see or think along the way. The day starts out as usual, breakfast with a chance of banana throwing. After the usual mess was cleaned, I suited the baby up in his coat while I scrambled to gather everything I needed  as quickly as possible. Ipod, CHECK. Hat, CHECK. Pocketbook, CHECK. Baby? "Nick?.....Nick?.....Nicholas.....I hear you! What is that banging?!". Great. He figured out how to open the oven. They're always 50 steps ahead of you no matter how on top of the situation you are! "C'mon Nick, we have to go.". I sweep the baby into my arms, throw my pocket book around my shoulder, while the hand that's holding the baby is holding my hat, that's holding his bottle, my water bottle, towel and keys. Most times while leaving my house, I feel like a walking circus act. I feel like when I open my front door I should be jumping through a ring of fire as a ringmaster announces my exit. "And now everybody! Brace yourselves for our new act! Watch as Mommy makes her way down the front steps with absolutely no free hands and still manages to get the car door open!". We're on our way to what is supposed the be the first of many stops. Great! No spots. The gym parking lot is packed. I drive around in endless circles telling myself that this will be the last time that I drive around the lot. I carefully maneuver my way around to exit the lot where I find myself in the Indie 500. Cars are flying. Here's my chance to go.......wait....no.....the guy who was miles away just a second ago can't bear to let me get out of this lot......that would mean that someone would be driving in front of him and then maybe he couldn't drive as fast as he's driving to get wherever he it is that he is going. You know what, even if I was speeding, I'd still be driving too slow for him and he'd find a way to cut me off. Car after car speeds by. At this point I feel like the Con Edison workers might as well use their orange construction flags and  officially turn this avenue into a drag race. I eventually am able to escape the lot and am off to my next stop at the pharmacy.  Jibber jabbering baby in hand, after looking both ways and determining that the coast is clear, I walk towards the store. "Meeeeep,,mmmmmMeeeeeeeeep.". I don't even look because I just  looked both ways before I crossed and I know there were definitely no cars coming. "MEEP. MEEP". My son jumps as if taken by surprise. I look to my right.....and there he is......now he throws in a whistle. Do I know you?. Nope. You're just a Creeper. Creeper-(noun) Definition: One who creeps another out by acting in an inappropriate manner. As I turn and look, he points to me and winks. Alright.......first of all, I'm walking into the store with my baby, I'm wearing my wedding band, and you're as old as my dad or older. I continue into the store like nothing ever happened because it's kind of like it never did. This is not a new phenomenon. I'm sure everyone reading this has come in contact with a Creeper. I think it's safe to say that Creeper's probably begin emerging when girls are in late Junior High-early High School. They make themselves known by whistling, honking, shouting at you (sometimes some pretty nasty nonsense). What I wonder though is, what makes a Creeper decide to join the ranks of the others in that category. I mean, did he wake up one day and say "I think I'm going to beep and scream at women!". I've never met a girl or have been that girl who's reacted to creeping in a positive way or at all.  Didn't he know that this would really get him no where? Or maybe it's just a cry for attention? Whatever it is, I just don't understand it. I know all the creeper comments like the back of my hand. They include but are not limited to...."Oooh God bless you".....or....."You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day"......or......"I can tell you've been working out".......or........."whistle, whistle, beep beeeeeep, points finger at you, winks, hey baby.". What goes through their minds and what do they expect will happen next? Did the Creeper think that I was going to run up to his car like a giddy schoolgirl  with my baby and say "Hey....I heard you beeping at me and whistling! This is my baby...why don't you take us for a ride in your beat up 1980 Dodge that's polluting the air and stinking up this whole parking lot! (wink wink)." or maybe "Oh hey! You sure made my day by screaming and whistling at me and scaring my kid!". I wonder if anyone has ever responded to a Creeper or if their approach actually works on anyone? It can't possibly work. I haven't met anyone yet who has gushed about a random creepy man beeping at them......."Oh my god, I had the best day! This old guy winked, pointed, and beeped like a  crazy lunatic until he got my attention!"........Pretty unrealistic scenario. Sorry Creepers.  You would think that  people who have the guts to do this would at least be able to back their actions up with insanely good looks. The confidence is just mind boggling because I've found that most Creepers just look completely creepy. I wonder if there's a Creeper's Anonymous? There really should be. Alcoholism for an alcoholic is like creeping to a Creeper. I wonder how a man would feel if he was just going about his day and the roles were reversed. Yup.....a woman creeper. Don't know if they exist. I wonder what would happen if a disheveled, unkempt older woman were to start beeping and screaming and winking at a much younger man (maybe with a baby). He would probably look at her much the same way as women look at Creepers......not at all. Or if he did, maybe he'd just look away quick and wonder the same thing that I wonder to myself when I am faced with a person of this nature. That simple one worded question that parted from my lips....Really?